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Revising is a key part of the writing process. Revising means
"seeing again." Before you begin to rewrite your
paper -- read over your assignment.
What is required? What does the instructor expect? Review
strategies listed in the textbook. Read over your draft and
examine it for areas needing improvement:
Eliminate Unnecessary Details
When writing you may come up with interesting ideas and remember
facts that do not relate to your thesis. Although significant,
if the ideas don't directly relate to your paper, eliminate
them. For instance, consider this paragraph taken from a paper
on automobile safety:
Airbags have greatly reduced accident fatalities. Newly
designed fenders crumple in crashes, absorbing the impact
and reducing injuries. New computer systems display maps and
allow drivers to plan trips. Radial tires have almost eliminated
blowouts.
The last two sentences clearly do not relate to the issue
of safety. Blowouts could cause accidents and a computer location
system might lessen driver confusion that could lead to inattentive
driving. But at present these ideas do not directly support
the thesis and should be rewritten or eliminated.
Fill in Missing Details
In writing it is easy to make statements you believe in without
providing enough evidence to support your views. Consider
the following statement:
The mayor's corrupt administration has failed the citizens.
The next election must bring change.
The assertion that the mayor's government is corrupt needs
support to persuade readers to accept the writer's point of
view:
The mayor's corrupt administration has failed the citizens.
Four of her key advisors have been jailed for bribery. Six
of eight department heads are under federal investigation
for crimes ranging from selling drugs to operating a car theft
ring. Although citizens pay the highest property taxes in
the region, they are served by fewer police officers and endure
the worst transit system in the state.
Avoid Bias
Bias differs from having an opinion or point of view, because
bias reflects prejudice and makes assumptions that cannot
be proved:
He was a disgusting man with no right to have children.
What is disgusting? Why should someone have no
right to have children? These assertions need to be demonstrated:
He was a violent parent who punished pre-school children
with brutal beatings and a constant stream of insults.
Verify Accuracy
Check your facts and quotes for accuracy. Don't repeat statistics
or quotes you have heard from friends or seen on television
without examining the original source. Did the President actually
make that remark? When? Where? Was it taken out of context?
This is especially true in using statistics. Realize that
numbers can be misleading and misinterpreted. Be suspicious
of opinion polls and facts you hear on media sound bites.
Polish Introductions and Conclusions
Make sure your opening attracts attention, limits the topic,
and directs the readers into the body of your essay. Avoid
openings which rely on the title or simply announce the topic,
This paper is about diets. Use brief narratives,
quotes, and interesting facts to attract attention.
Conclusions should restate the thesis, suggest a course of
action, or end with a prediction. Avoid awkward endings or
conclusions that simply repeat the introduction.
Improve Exactness
Make sure that your wording is exact, that you use words
that are accurate and specific. Avoid vague and general words
and phrases:
Her attitude caused a lot of problems with customers.
What attitude did she have? What were problems?
How many problems are a lot? Substituting more specific
words creates a much clearer picture:
Her temper generated a dozen customer complaints.
Maintain Explicitness
If you omit key words your meaning will be unclear:
Many more book requests flooded into the library as
students demanded more help from their professors.
The statement is not clear. Who is making the book requests,
the students? What do the professors have to do with the library?
By making the sentence more explicit, the meaning is clearer:
Professors flooded the library with book requests as
students demanded more help.
Improve Economy
To write economically, try to eliminate wordy phrases that
add little meaning but simply take up space:
During the summer months many people in this country
take vacations to relax, to rediscover their country, to recharge
their relationships.
The word months adds nothing to the sentence and
the phrase in this country has no value. The sentence
would be more direct, more interesting, more effective if
stated economically:
During the summer, people take vacations to relax, to
rediscover their country, to recharge their relationships.
Avoid False Elegance
Elegance does not refer to writing in a flowery style, but
writing with smoothness and meaningful imagery:
After losing her job, Nancy felt trapped by bills, pressured
by friends, and frightened at the prospect of returning to
college.
The words trapped, pressured, and frightened
reflect Nancy's state of mind better than a wordy, generalized
statement.
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